One-Sided Friendships

“How do I deal with a one-sided friendship without feeling guilty?”

I’ve noticed that a friend only reaches out when they need something – help, advice, or support –but when I need the same, they ignore me or act distant.

It’s starting to feel very one-sided, and I’m questioning whether I did something wrong or if they just don’t value me the same way. I don’t want to be petty or rude, but I also don’t want to keep giving my time and energy to someone who doesn’t reciprocate.

Is it okay to step back from a friendship like this? How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty?

“Not every friendship needs a mother’s type of love”

To be honest, I didn’t realize this was such a universal experience, having a friend who only reaches out when they need something or who leaves you on read when you reach out.

If you’re dealing with someone like that, my advice is simple: You don’t have to respond right away. Give it a week or two, out of politeness if you want, but don’t feel pressured to always be available.

A lot of us fall into the trap of being people pleasers. We want to give our time and energy, hoping it’ll build stronger connections. But the truth is, most relationships are transactional – whether we like it, or not. Friendships are not like a mother’s love. A mother’s love is unconditional. Friendships and even romantic relationships aren’t always that pure.

You wouldn’t show up to work every day for free, right? So why give your emotional labor and time to someone who doesn’t treat you with the same respect?

If a friend is only coming around when it benefits them, you have every right to ask, “Why am I still giving them my time?” Setting boundaries isn’t rude; it’s a form of self-respect. You’re not a bad person for choosing to protect your peace. You don’t owe anyone constant access to your energy, especially when that energy isn’t being returned.

If I were in your shoes, I’d say something simple like, “Sorry, I don’t have the time right now.” Or I might not respond at all.

Sometimes, silence speaks volumes.

Stepping back gives you space to reflect on what kind of friendships you truly deserve – and how you might be unintentionally signaling that your time is always available, when it shouldn’t be.